区分两者
Distinguish between the two
健康的释放有助于你痊愈并向前迈进。通过和别人推论，你就能清楚地了解大局。向别人倾诉可以减轻痛苦，因为你感到被支持。避免陷入消极的情绪中。但当释放变得有毒时，就会形成一种难以修复的消极循环。
认清“健康释放”和“情绪倾泻”之间的区别，可以让我们更有效地沟通我们的挫折感，并在问题上找到清晰的答案。
Healthy venting helps you to heal and move forward. By reasoning things out with someone else, you gain clarity on what’s happening. Confiding in someone often lessens the pain because you feel supported. You avoid getting stuck in all that negativity. But when venting becomes toxic, it creates a cycle of negativity that’s hard to repair.
Identifying the differences between “healthy venting” and “emotional dumping” can allow us to communicate our frustrations more effectively and find clarity in our issues.
健康释放
Healthy Venting
VS
情绪倾泻
Emotional Dumping
| 不责怪别人 Does not blame others | 责怪别人 Blames others |
| 保持一个话题 Sticks to one topic | 用多个议题淹没对方 Overwhelms the other person with multiple issues |
| 承认他们的错误 Owns up to their mistakes | 不承认他们的错误 Does not own up to their mistakes |
| 不扮演受害者 Does not self-victimize | 扮演受害者 Plays the victim |
| 共同制定解决方案 Works on a solution together | 不愿意寻找解决方法 Not open to finding a solution |
| 乐于接受建设性反馈 Open to constructive feedback | 抵抗建设性反馈 Defensive to constructive feedback |
| 不会占用不必要的时间 Does not take up unnecessary time | 重复说着同样的问题。不考虑时间。 Repeats the same issue over and over. Inconsiderate of time. |
| 倾听并认可他人的观点 Listens and acknowledge other’s perspective | 不尊重或倾听他人的观点 Does not respect or listen to other’s perspective |
| 感到有益 Feels beneficial | 感到有害 Feels toxic |
当别人把问题向你倾泻时，
你该如何保护自己?
How to protect yourself when people dump their problems on you?
当有人在向你倾泻有毒情绪时，建立界限是很重要的。尤其当你是一个有高度同情心或敏感的人时，你很容易忽视自己的需要，在经历情绪倾泻后感到精疲力尽。当你和一个负面倾泻者不得不在一起时，这里有一些技巧可以帮助你保护自己。
It is important to create boundaries when someone is emotionally dumping on you. Especially when you are an empath or a sensitive person, you can easily neglect your needs and feel drained after experiencing emotional dumping. Here are a few tricks to help you protect yourself when you feel stuck with a toxic venter.
1
确认他们所说的，认同他们的感受
Acknowledge what they say and validate how they feel
说些话来确认你理解对方的话，比如，“因为在这种情况你感到很沮丧的，所以生气是可以理解的...” 然后，停下来让他/她接受你的确认并回应你。这会减轻他们的防御。
Say something to acknowledge that you heard the person, such as, “It makes sense that you’re angry because you are frustrated with the situation...” Then, pause to let him/her accept your acknowledgment and respond to you. It will weaken their defense.
2
脱离而不是逃避
Detaching instead of escaping
逃避是当你无法处理或解决某事时的一种自动反应。这似乎是一条简单的出路，但它承载着受害者的负面能量。你会感到自卑和无能为力。然而，脱离是你有目的地、有意识地做出的选择。
Escaping is an automatic reaction that happens when you cannot handle or solve something. It seems to be the easy way out, but it carries victimhood energy with you. You will have feel low self-worth and powerless. Detachment, however, is a choice that you make intentionally and mindfully.
3
创建脚本来帮助您作出响应
Creating scripts to help you respond
“谢谢你让我知道。我怎样才能让你感受到更多的支持？”
“我知道你很沮丧，这是可以理解的。我的方法有点不同。我可以和你分享吗?”
“Thank you for letting me know. How can I help you feel more supported?”
“I know you’re frustrated, and it’s really understandable that you are. My approach is a little different. May I share it with you?”
释放一下你的喜悦，不仅仅是烦恼。